I Bet I Got Better Black Friday Deals Than You Did

After my kids and I got the Thanksgiving dinner all cleaned up and the leftovers put away, we shot some zombies, then watched a couple movies. In fact, Savannah and I stayed up until 2:00am watching movies. So, today while all the deranged people were fighting with the rest of humanity over bargain-priced electronics, I was sleeping in my nice, toasty, comfy bed. No one banged their cart into my ankles. No one grabbed the last 3-pronged thingamawhoozit out of my hands. I didn't stand in any lines for hours. I wasn't arrested for cutting in line. No one threatened to stab me. I didn't inhale a cloud of pepper spray. I didn't witness anyone getting trampled.

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