I had a fabulous Mother’s Day. My kids made me homemade cards. Brooklyn painted a wooden pin for me in preschool. Lexi and Clay brought me flowers they’d planted in school, and Clay made me a dandelion bracelet. It was a gorgeous, 70-degree day and I sat my butt down outside and enjoyed the weather with my kids for a couple hours.
The kids offered to wash my car. I was thrilled because there’s so much disgustingness in there, I’m afraid a family of squirrels has taken up residence in the third row. You probably think I’m joking. But I’m scared. I just know I’ll be driving along one day when, much like the squirrel that leapt from the tree onto Clark in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, a squirrel is going to fly out from the back of my van and land on my head, causing me to swerve across several lanes of traffic while I scream like a little girl. I’ll slam on my brakes in the middle of the intersection and stumble from my car while running in circles, freaking out about the squirrel on my head. If my kids hadn’t cleaned out my van today, I have no doubt you’d be able to see footage of my squirrel incident on the news this week because it was only a matter of time until it actually happened.
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