Thursday, October 22, 2009

Swine Flu Update

Well, my kids are feeling better today. I think the medicine is really working because they're getting back to themselves faster than Savannah who didn't have any medicine. The problem is that they're tired of being cooped up and sick and it's all rainy here today. Despite the fact that I've been going to the library every day to get them a new supply of movies, Clay and Jackson are out of control, jumping around, fighting and generally bugging everyone else. I'm about at the end of my rope with them.

Meanwhile, I had to call my mom and ask her to take Joe to the ER after I spoke with his doctor. Joe overdosed on the Tylenol with codeine and has been in a drugged sleep ever since his surgery on Friday. I didn't realize he had gone through all 3 bottles of pain killers at first because he waited until I was in the shower, then drove, all hopped up on narcotics, to the drug store to get more. When he got home, he filled the empty bottle with water to cover up the fact that he'd just been drinking the medicine from the bottle like it was water. Like a true recovering alcoholic, he blamed me for the cover-up and said he had to do it so I wouldn't get mad.

So I told his surgeon how much medicine he'd taken, but that he was out of it now, yet still, he was sleeping all day and night and the rare times he awoke, he slurred, cried a little, then went back to sleep. I was worried that he was depressed and might try to commit suicide again and I, quite frankly, am sick and tired of dealing with this kind of thing especially since I have 6 sick kids at home right now.

Anyway, my mom was nice enough to take him to the ER where they rehydrated him (he'd stopped eating and drinking) and tested his liver function. The numbers were elevated so he'll be staying there overnight to be monitored to make sure the number doesn't rise anymore.

That's it in a nutshell. Prayers for Joe would be good because I ran out of sympathy for him after he yelled at me for being so mean to him. Yeah, stocking up on yogurt, ice cream, popsicles, and pudding is mean. Sitting at the hospital for 6 hours while he was in surgery is mean. Offering to make him soup and tea every day is mean. Trying to get him out of the house so he doesn't get sick is mean. Staying up all night with the kids so he could sleep is mean. Making sure someone could take him to the hospital so he could get help is mean.

I don't know how to close comments on a post so I'm just going to ignore them because I know I'll get negative feedback for writing this. I'll have people who say I'm stupid for staying with him for so long. I'll have people say I'm a horrible wife and shouldn't be talking bad about him. But unless you've lived with a person who struggles with addictions, you don't know what it's like. Unless you've lived with a person who lies to you constantly, you don't know what it's like. And I'm just exhausted.

227 comments:

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aceiatx said...

BIG BIG Hugs.

kymomma said...

praying for you both.

Anonymous said...

Hang in there, Dawn! My thoughts and prayers are with you all!

Shannon Caveman said...

Dawn,
I had to write, even if you ignore. Believe me, my prayers are for you, and your whole family. I do know what it's like and even somewhat from the other side. You are awesome & you will all be ok.

~Shannon in KY

Keren said...

In case you decide not to ignore, but just not to publish - I am so sorry. No judgment here. Please take care of yourself.

Anonymous said...

Dawn -
I have been there - and still am - on that roller coaster of a spouses addiction. It sucks. I am really sorry for what you are going through. Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

I have a husband who has a lot of addictions too and I just want to say that I know where you're coming from. You and your family are in my prayers and I hope that you know that your Heavenly Father knows what you are going through and loves you! I've found that when I'm at my lowest He always picks me up and puts me back on my feet.

Lisa said...

Sounds like you are very tired, you need to have a long hot bubble bath with a good book. Crawl into bed and get some good rest.
You have done everything you can for everyone and now its time to take care of you.
I understand completely your post and I will give both you and Joe prayers for rest and healing and peace. Hang in there kiddo this too shall pass (maybe not fast enough) but it will.

Charla said...

Just wanted to send you a hug. I know you said you won't read these comments but I wanted to offer you some support. This can't be easy for you. Hang in there and take it day by day. This, too, shall pass.

blindsightlife said...

My heart and prayers go out to you... my FIL is currently experiencing liver and kidney failures due to his years of alcoholism, and still denies he drinks. Addicts have an "amazing" way of projecting their lifestyle as someone else's fault/problem, and I know how difficult it can be.
Even if you do ignore your comments, I wanted at least one supportive/understanding one, in case you happened to glance.

Anonymous said...

Hi Dawn,

I'm really sorry that things have piled up on you. I do know what it's like to have someone you love be addicted to something, so I just wanted to say that I understand. It's sad but unless the person admits that they have a problem by themselves and seek help nothing is going to get better. It gets to the point where you don't care anymore and just want them out of your life, that's what I had to do and then he got help and has been better ever since. Some times people just have to hit rock bottom for them to get help. It's hard to cope with specially when you see first hand the damage it cause. Again, I'm sorry and I hope that it gets better for you.

Bianka

Anonymous said...

It's petty brave to share this with us. I guess you will get some negative comments along with positive comments.

You can't revise your life to fit the expectations of an invisible audience.

So you, your kids, your husband, your house, and all of your lives aren't perfect and sometimes unhappy.

Congrats! You're human and it's a pretty good gig.

Anonymous said...

I do feel for you.
My brother-in-law is similar and puts my sister through what you are experiencing.
He is an alcholic although he wont admit to it. Has been banned twice for drink-driving. Blames her for everything and yes, he lies about everything too.

She has done everything she can to help him but to no avail. Even paying for him to study after he has lost jobs through his drinking, etc. Offered for him to go to a private clinic etc. But now he has taken to being violent towards her too, the police are now involved and so what will happen now is anyones guess.

I am choosing to remain anonymous for this post for her sake - just in case! But I am a regular on your bloggs :)

Melissa said...

I'm sorry - I hope things get better soon. No judgment here, just good thoughts coming your way!

Janet said...

Thank you for your honesty and for allowing us to be a part of your life. There are so many people that go through these issues and it is such a support to know that they are not alone. Big hugs and prayers to you and your family.

Jen L said...

HUGS to you, my sweet sister in Christ! I'll be praying for Joe, the kids, and you. I've not been where you are but I can still pray!

Jen in VA

Michelle said...

Dawn, you sound like you're at the end of your rope. Give me a call if you need an ear -- or if you need to get out of the house for awhile or need something dropped off (wine or hard liquor being acceptable). I feel for you. I've watched it and lived with it as a child -- and let me know if you want the instructions on how to shut off comments. It's actually easy (if I figured it out, it must be easy). *hugs*

Sara said...

i thought the blog was amazing! It took alot of guts to write it and post it. But you did yourself and your readers a favor. You let people know that they are not alone in dealing with issues such as yours. (((Hugs))) and kuddo's to you.
To the people who want to leave negitive comments: do not judge anyone until you have walked a mile in their shoes and people who live in glass houses should not throw stones.

Beverly said...

I understand. You are a wonderful wife and mother. Keep doing what you are doing. Prayers for you...

ofcheeriosandconferencecalls said...

Dawn - let me start out by saying you are one of my inspirations. One day I hope I actually get the chance to meet you.
You are a good mom, a good wife, and a good person. Whatever happens, will happen. The only thing (and I believe the best thing) a person can do in life is be true to herself/himself. And when you're a parent, it includes being true to your kids as well. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Duck's Mom said...

Dawn, Keep your head up. You're stronger and wiser than you give yourself credit for.

I'm sure you're going to roll your eyes at another quote, but here's one for you:

Eleanor Roosevelt: You never know how strong a woman is until you put her in hot water.

The pot is boiling Dawn and having 6 kids, a book deal and a huge blog following, you're teh strongest woman I know.

Monica said...

Healing thoughts and prayers for you, the kids, Joe, and your entire family.

Your honesty in a difficult situation is NOTHING to be ashamed of, to apologize for, or to ever regret. Your honesty helps you, and it helps those of us who read your blog know that we aren't the only people in the world who experience the same frustrations and pain that you do.

It takes a brave person to put their heart out in a public forum. Please continue to do so as your words uplift and encourage me, and MANY MANY others!

Hang in there!

Lesley said...

No mean comments from me...only hugs and prayers for you, Joe, and your family.

Lyuda said...

Sending lots and lots of hugs your way!!! (Reading the last post, I had a thought about Joe overdosing on acetaminophen, but I thought that maybe you were exaggerating when you said he downed 3 bottles of Tylenol.) I'll be praying for things to get better for you. And remember that we don't judge you but support you the whole way!!! Hang in there! And if you need a pick-me-up, youtube a song that helps ME go through tough times: "this is it", by kirk franklin. LOTS of LOVE!!!

Jennifer in Wisconsin said...

One of my husband's favorite quote. Hope you find something in it.

"Find liberation in chaos"

Meaning:
Once you stop believing that you can and must control everything that goes on around you, You'll find liberation of the self
OR: Let the chaos you see remind you that you cannot control everything, and liberate yourself from the bourdon of trying to control it.

Anonymous said...

Dear Dawn,

I am praying for you and Joe too--that together, you will be able to overcome these tough times, with God's help.

We know that for Christians, marriage is for keeps. Perhaps it's unfair for an outsider like me to make such a comment, but it really does break my heart to see a wonderful family split up.

Will keep praying for God to give you the strength that you need.

-Hugz from a stranger-

Susan said...

praying and smiling. you're great. we can always use some honesty. have a wonderful week.

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