Friday, August 22, 2008

An Author Gets Her Start

I just love kids' artwork as I showed you HERE. Today I was going through some old papers, stories and art projects of mine that my mom had saved all these years. Wow, what a wealth of blog material was in this box!

For example, here are the pages from my writing journal when I was 7. Ever wonder where my spectacular writing abilities came from? Well, here's your answer...

8-22-2008 3;58;48 PM

(I like noodles because they taste good.) Some things never change. Thankfully, my spelling is not one of those things.

8-22-2008 3;58;55 PM

(I gave a Valentine to my friend.)

Unfortunately she couldn't accept it because she had no hands.

8-22-2008 3;59;03 PM

(A whale can swim.)

I like how I had originally written, "A dog can swim." Apparently I thought dogs had great abilities.

8-22-2008 3;59;11 PM

"I like our room"? Or "I like Rome"? I must have drawn this picture after I was a contestant on Jeopardy.

8-22-2008 3;59;19 PM

8-22-2008 3;59;27 PM

(I saw a dinosaur walking in the field. It was so big. I never saw anything as big as that.)

I've never seen anything quite like that either. Does it have 5 feet and 2 heads? Or does it just have a giant growth on his butt? He appears to be craning his neck to see just what's going on back there. "What the??? What did she just draw on my butt???"

8-22-2008 3;59;35 PM

I can make a deal? Again with the game shows? Actually, it says, "I can make a doll." That must be the doll on the floor. I'm pretty sure I've never made a doll, however. And look at the chair I'm sitting in. I think I broke the legs.

8-22-2008 3;59;43 PM

(A dog can jump over a car.)

Yep, clearly I thought dogs had special powers.

8-22-2008 3;59;50 PM

(I had a funny dream) about a girl and 2 boxes, I guess. I wonder how I ever got up on that bed? It's taller than I am! I do like my purple hair though.

8-22-2008 4;00;00 PM

(I gave a Valentine to my friend.) Again? Apparently I did a lot of this when I was 7. Well, my spelling of the word "Valentine" has changed at least. Unfortunately, I don't think it's an improvement.

8-22-2008 4;00;10 PM

(Here are some funny people.)

They have no hands. They have no feet. The guy on the left has half a head of blue hair, a nose and a mouth. The guy on the right has half a head of yellow hair, one eye and a mouth. Yep, they're pretty funny, in a really scary, sad, demented sort of way. Funny.

8-22-2008 4;00;17 PM

(I have beads. I can string the beads.) Oh look! There I am on the floor stringing beads. Why am I on the floor when there's a perfectly good chair with bowed legs right there? Oh, it must be because there's a spider on the chair! Quick, use your beads to whip the spider off the broken chair, Dawn!

8-22-2008 4;00;25 PM

Yes, even back 31 years ago, cookies were my favorite food group. What I especially love about this is that my sister has a carrot for dinner. My mom has a plate of spinach. My dad has some gray glop (must be left-overs) and I have a cookie. Yeah, life is good. (And note my pretty blue hair!)

8-22-2008 4;00;48 PM

Mmmm, poached Red Hadid drizzled with a light herbed lemon butter. De-Lish! Oh, what? You say it's supposed to be a "red headed fish"? Ohhhh. Scratch the lemon butter then. Hollandaise goes much better with that.

8-22-2008 4;01;11 PM

Just like whales. Not dogs.

8-22-2008 4;01;19 PM

...and a cage over my head. Oh, wait. That's not a cage. That's a chair. I've melded into the chair with the broken legs. Oooo and look! My hair's been dyed. It's a pretty blond here. I wonder how much hairspray one would have to use to get it to stick out like that. See those long, skinny, purple things holding the yellow yarn? Those are my arms. I know, I know, you thought they were Twizzlers, didn't you? They're not.

8-22-2008 4;01;34 PM

I was on a swing today. Or I was a swing today. Or I joined the circus as the "woman with the wild hair, the red eyes, and the green leotard on the flying trapeze".

68 comments:

Sarah in Portland said...

I was dying of laughter because of this. Makes me want to dig up some of my old school work. Thanks so much!

Brenda said...

I bet when your mom saved those papers years ago she would never have thought in a million years "When Dawn is an adult she'll want these for her blog."

Ellen said...

Ok, seriously this is the funniest thing ever! As a first grade teacher I can truly appreciate this clever writing and artwork! I didn't even need your translations to figure them out! I think it is hilarious to hear your translations because this is exactly what I think when I see some of the papers I get. I love my babies and their interpretations of the world. This put a huge smile on my face (as does all of your blog) after the horrible week I have had!

Denise ~ Paper Ponderings said...

Oh my gosh...I'm rolling on the floor laughing...literally...I can barely reach the keys to type since I'm on the floor!!!

Mary said...

So I just had a hard day with my adorable but inherently high-maintenance one month old (I'm a new mom), and I just came on here to see if I could find a good laugh.

Thank you. :)

Anonymous said...

I love the fact that seven-year-old you felt a great need to record the fact that ducks (and maybe dogs, too) could swim. Posterity will celebrate you for preserving that vital information for them. :P Seriously, though, I bet I wrote stuff like that when I was seven. Maybe at 16 I still do. :P :P :P Thanks for the laugh!

Sudee in Florida said...

You cracked me up about the dinosaur asking what you'd drawn on his butt. Haaaaaaa! I see you may have misspelled some words but you got "cookie" right. You go girl!!! I love children's drawings and the way children spell things. My grandkids are keeping me supplied with funny papers that they make when at my house. You should get your kids to make a list of their favorite foods. I did that with two of my grandkids and what a hoot. Just as a sample,- they like "fride chiken, stake, sower dow bread, cotin candy, pamagranit, wattermellen", and they like to drink "sweat tea and watter". They are 7 and 9, and now I know what to feed them when they come see me. By the way, they did not misspell cookie or chocolate. I love it!!
Sudee in "very wet" Florida

moxdon said...

you're so damn funny! I laughed out loud no less than five times. and how the heck did u get the paper to look so spiffy and bright and new? obviously those aren't pictures of the pictures...so spill it:)

Anonymous said...

Hey, I still draw like that!!! This post made me laugh so much. Thanks!

Sherry

Joni said...

Wow, I seriously cannot stop laughing. I started at the dinosaur and had tears running down my face by the end. THANKS for sharing this with us!

erinve said...

OH MY GOSH. I have not laughed so hard in awhile. THANK YOU for sharing that and being able to laugh at yourself. It really made my night. I'm going searching for my old journals to see if I was half as talented as you!

Karla with a K said...

Hey, that was fun. I love the ducks.
Your sister's carrot was great, too.
:)

Jake said...

Hey Dawn,
Just letting you know that on my computer, the HERE link doesn't work. Not sure if it's just mine or not...but just letting you know.

-Jake
Tales of a Dysfunctional Family

Dawn said...

Oops! Thanks Jake. I fixed it.

Angie said...

Awesome post; it totally makes me want to dig all of my stellar artwork up. You're a wonderful artist :)

My Semblance of Sanity said...

OMGH!
I am peeing my pants!
These were not only adorable...your commentary on your own drawings (from an art teacher perspective) has me ROOOOOLLLLLLIIIINNNNGGG ON THE FLOOORRRRRR!!!!!!!

Thanks for the laugh...and the wet pants!

LOL!

Candi said...

Dee-lightful. That was really fun. Did you notice you could spell February (a lot of adults miss that one because so many don't pronounce the first "R") so it was only the little words that gave you any problems. Probably because you were dyeing your hair or breaking more chairs when they gave those out. Thank you for allowing us to see life from a different angle. Bless you!

Shari said...

That's cool Dawn! Did you show your older kids? My kids love to see my stuff from when I was in school. Also, your humor is just too funny! Something I can use right about now after one of the crummiest weeks in my life!

Jennifer said...

Oh my gosh Dawn, you're always hilarious, but today was really something special. I was laughing so hard my husband was getting a little annoyed because he couldn't hear the Olympics over my guffaws, and I had to stop half way through your post to get a tissue because I was laughing so hard I was crying. That was positively hysterical! Thanks for the tearful belly laughs, that felt great.

Michelle said...

Dawn, I love this post! I was able to figure out most of them, but I appreciate your help in translating a few. Did you know what they were because you remember your writing and spelling and what you were drawing back then or because you're used to figuring it out from your own brood?

And I was going to comment on how "I can eat a cookie" was your only correctly spelled statement. But then things after that were also spelled correctly, so it wasn't as funny. Bummer ;)

Oh, and I'm also really glad that you pulled these out and liked them, as I'm saving a few papers every year for each of the wee ones in their memory boxes, and I sort of wonder if they'll ever care.

TnT's Mom said...

Dawn, thanks for the huge laugh out loud fit I had reading this. I was a teacher before I was a mom and I loved reading my students journals, especially the funny things they would write and draw about their families...now I have a 7 year old who is writing the journals for his teachers and after reading all of his first grade journals this summer I am starting to figure out why his teacher sometimes looked at me strangely...my son's take on our family and the things we do made me laugh and cringe at times, esp. his descriptions of his little brother, his dad, and me.

I've been wondering...I only have 2 boys and it seems like every night one of them (usually the 3 year old) calls me or comes to find me for something (bathroom run, needing company, because he is lonely, etc.)...do your kids come looking for you in the middle of the night?

freebutterfly said...

Your blog always gets me laughing, but this had me in HYSTERICS!

By the way... "I like are rome" -- did you share a room w/siblings? Was it you and 2 siblings in individual beds? I wondered about that all through the rest of the pictures... Yes, I need help.

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, I can't stop laughing!! You totally crack me up!

Annie Anderson said...

LMAO!! This is hysterical! And like so many others said, that was what I needed after an incredibly crappy week.

~ Annie

Manic Mom said...

You have got to LOVE having those!
So cool!

(We are still good for lunch on that Friday, yes? I will come out by you this time!)

Sarah said...

I can't stop laughing! I don't know what I was laughing harder at, your writing then or now. The scary part is that I had no trouble reading your first writing. Thank you so much! I needed this.

MaritDW said...

I so enjoy your comments and perspective on life. I see you started early with a vivid and colorful imagination. I especially like all the people with no hands. Were you afraid of hands? I studied art in college and still can't draw hands! But, your comments are great!

And I need to say about your reasons for writing your blog, you do make a difference. I turn to you to not feel alone in trying to raise my 5 rowdy kids.

I was judged for years by my mil and mom as a terrible parent. To my face they said unkind things. I can imagine what they thought behind my back. After they have spent time with my troubled child (mental illness), they consider me a saint for not killing him myself. - Well, those are the words of my mom. My mil is more gracious and positive.

My brother's kids are so well behaved all the time (all six of them) that we can't tell when they are sick! On the other hand, I have the high spirited variety. I think yours are too. But, those are the ones who will make the world a better place and make things happen. "We are the music makers. We are the dreamers of dreams. We are the movers and shakers of the world forever it seems."

And if people say you have too many kids, just exit with this last line, 'they will be the ones paying your social security.' (and ridding the world of poverty, disease, baby curls, and boring blogs.) So hang in there and keep up the good fight!

Anonymous said...

That's so awesome! Just think how much of that could have just ended up in the garbage dump, never to be seen again. Sadly, dumpster loads of memories are lost like that.

Rick said...

I sincerely do appreciate the "translations" that you provided, because I'm not well versed in Seven-Year-Old-ish. That was a foreign language I never studied in school.

The artwork though... was impeccable! Or rather imperceptible. Whatever.

Barefoot in High Heels said...

Thanks a lot, Dawn! I couldn't sleep at 4:30 a.m., thought I'd check e-mail, then quietly try to get some shut-eye. But after reading your post I was laughing out loud! Hilarious! Now I'm wide awake. great. more time for me to waste blogging. :)

www.barefootinhighheels.wordpress.com

Irishmama said...

Hysterical! True genius!

TiddliwinkDesigns said...

I laughed so hard I cried. Absolutely the funniest thing ever. I wonder if I would have thought so if I didn't have kids that same age who draw very similar things?

Mabunny said...

Love 'em Dawn ! i don't think I have anything from that far back in my childhood. Thanks for sharing!

Innocence Underrated said...

oh my gosh, thank you for that. i stopped cleaning to check the computer and about peed my pants! those are great! or is it: thoess ar grayt?

Heather said...

Soo funny - both the originals and your translations and comments.

But you know you've seriously weakened my resolve to get rid of clutter, including the things my children make at pre-school!

Christine the Soccer Mom said...

I'm guessing this just because of your spelling, but did you grow up in the South? Your phonetical spelling looks like everyone in my town sounds. ;)

Love the old work, though. I might pull out my school book and share, too. :D

Ren said...

LOL! Makes me wish I had some of my old drawings. Thanks for sharing, those are great!

Mary said...

Hey Dawn, just wanted to let you know I had the most ace dream about you last night. I live in Australia and for some reason was visiting the US for a conference and was staying at your house, which was immaculate I might add. You were the most well-organized mama I'd ever met and you had really cool food. So there ya go, an Aussie is dreaming about you. You've managed to plant yourself in the subconscious of a random being on the other side of the world. LOL

Cindy said...

OMG! I was sitting here giggling at that as my children and husband were looking at me like I am completely unhinged! Thank you for that!

mommeeof9 said...

Now I feel guilty that we've thrown away most of the kids papers from school. Oh well, if they were that important we would have filed them somewhere safe.

Jenna said...

what a terrific idea for a post! Too funny! Trying to keep my giggles quiet as eveyone else in the house is sleeping!

Stressed Out said...

Ahhh Dawn. You lucky girl, you. Cherish those scraps of paper - I have exactly one (1)!!! piece of artwork/"literature" from my school days. Kind of makes you glad YOU'RE not the 8th kid, huh?? Remember how you felt when your mom gave them to you? Make sure Brooklyn has that feeling later - she'll love you more for it.

Keeley said...

Hahahahaha!!! The dinosaur!!! Hahahaha!

Oh my good gravy. I can't breathe.

Laura ~Peach~ said...

WOW Dawn I was way behind... typical computer troubles but anyway... Love your response to anonymous... sigh I have never gotten one of those goofy comments but Can only imagine how I would respond... I bow to your restraint!

I can not imagine the lines at your sonic OH HAVE MERCY we have so many sonics to choose from and I think I would just CRY or die laughing at that line... no i know me I have no patience I would LEAVE LOL... Got to love sonic though i had the best jr bacon cheeseburger today YUMMM you did awesomely 7 people fed for 44 bucks... shoot we had three of us and it was 15. for two burgers one mochajava chiller order of cheese sticks and tots and cherry limeaid ... anyway kudos to you... love the drawings and spelling skills at age 7 they brought back memories indeed!

Happy late saturday night and happy sunday to you!
HUGE HUGS Laura

Asianmommy said...

Haha! I love your dinosaur's comments.

Donna Cooper said...

Absolutely THE MOST AMAZING BLOG on the web. Thanks for the laugh and the wet chair. I'll be visiting you every day, I'm sure.
You're on my blogroll too. : )

imbeingheldhostage said...

How fun! What great insight your mom had, to save future blog fodder for you :-)

Summer said...

oh my gosh, your dialog about your drawings was HILARIOUS!! your drawings were pretty funny too... :o)

Walter Family said...

OK I laughed out loud at these. Thanks a bunch for that. This is exactly why I save all of the drawings from the kids! Maybe they will come in handy to them someday!

Katie @ 3 Blondes and a Redhead said...

My entire household is asleep and I'm SNORTING to stiffle the urge to laugh out loud. Snorting loudly, at that.

This was hilarious...now I wish my mom was sentimental to keep stuff like that!

WhimsicalThoughts said...

OMG, this has to be the funniest post I have read! If I was the Dinosaurs I would be asking the same thing, what the heck is on my butt? Bawahahahahaha ohhhh Dawn, you are so funny! I love the commentary under the pictures! It's funny to see our precious art work now that we are older. I love the fact that you spelled COOKIE right! Thanks so much for the laugh on the very early Monday morning!

Jzbeanie said...

This is the first time I've laughed uncontrollably at a blog!It reminds me of my first grade letter to the tooth fairy when another child noced (knocked)my toth(tooth) out of my hand and I lote ( lost)it!

Sharon Harris said...

Thanks for making me feel so OLD. When you were learning to spell in 1977, I was already 2 years out of high school.

Tracey said...

Holy friggin' hilarious!
I have tears streaming down my face from this post.
I, too, was looking at some art work of mine from back in the day a couple of months ago.
Oh, my goodness!
Thanks...I needed that!

Nat said...

I was laughing so hard I was crying! And apparently I'm not the only one! Thanks for sharing! My childhood schoolwork isn't nearly as funny!

kimikki said...

Want to have even more fun? Have your smaller kids write out a grocery list as you tell them what you need. We did that and my daughter wrote that we needed "sugr, nudles, melk", things like that. I still have her lists.

Stacie said...

lmao...that was great, thank you for sharing, I sure wish I had some of my old artwork (mastery, really)!

Mrs. B said...

I just found my way here from a recommendation on another blog. I got about half way through and had to stop reading because I WAS LAUGHING TOO HARD! And since I'm at work, that's not such a good thing. I'll be back tonight to finish laughing.

TheHMC said...

Ahahahahaa...I LOVED that one. Hilarious. Only you could come up with commentaries like that.

Hillary said...

Ok, I thought it was because I'm 4 months pregnant and an emotional rollercoaster right now, but it looks like I wasn't the only one who actually laughed so hard that I started to cry for no reason. My husband is afraid I've hurt the baby because I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe :) I am a first grade teacher and I didn't need your translations of your writing, but your comments were great! My favorites were the carrot for dinner and the dinosaur butt! You've inspired me to keep all of my students' writing in a portfolio so they can look at it when they're grown up!
Thanks for making me laugh!

Sara said...

I've never commented on your blogs before (cause mostly, I know you don't have time to read all the comments at this point) but just in case, I (longest sentence of the day) wanted you to know that I just about strangled myself trying not to laugh loudly enough to wake up my babies. The pictures are cute, the spelling is creative, and your captions are awesome! Thanks for giving a slight insomniac something worth reading tonight. :)

Jen said...

oh my god, that was hysterical!! I almost peed from laughing so hard! I found your blog from your ebay pokemon cards auction and ever since then I've saved your blog as my fav. I love your comments they make me laugh so much. I'm currently sick at home with a really bad cold and this really brought my spirits up! hahaha

ummmhello said...

Oh. My. God. I laughed so hard I was crying, then I sent a link to my friends so they could laugh until they gasped for breath, too!

Kathy said...

Thank you so much!!! I needed to laugh like that! I was at work and had to stop reading (I came back later) because I was laughing so hard I was crying!!

I am soooo saving my son's work now...it will be great to relive when he is older. That and the picture of him carrying the Tinkerbell purse!!

Sandy said...

HILARIOUS!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!

Kelsie said...

I just laughed hard enough to cause half of my family to look at me strangely (The other half is outside learning how to mow the lawn!) That was utterly hilarious. I love the dinosaur with five feet. :)

Looney Lisa said...

I see now that you have passed on your artistic skills to your children, and you didn't even know you were doing it. Some things are just blessings in that way. Keep up the good work. You keep us all in stitches.

Fran said...

OMG! I was laughing out loud (at work, mind you) at this post. I just about lost it on the one with the cage over your head! LMAO!!

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