Sunday, January 29, 2006

FAQs

I love hearing from my readers, but because I get a hundred emails a day, please understand that I cannot respond to all of them. Well, I probably could, but then I’d have to give up sleep and I really like sleep. So, to help ensure that your email doesn’t go unanswered, please check my FAQ before hitting “send”.

Can I forward you an email that’s been passed around since 1972?
If the email says anything along the lines of, “Send this to twelve people or your hair will turn gray, you will suffer diarrhea of Alli proportions, and your children will NOT, in fact, have children of their own who act just like they do, then please do not bother to forward it.

If the email is to inform me that the 2007 California wildfires have caused a nationwide toilet paper shortage, that Andy Kaufman has returned after pretending to be dead for 20 years, or that Bill Gates will pay me $1000 if I forward this email, then please save yourself the trouble of hitting the send button.

If the forward is a lame joke that I’ve heard 283 times already, don’t send it. If it’s a joke that will make me snort coffee up my nose, fall off my chair and/or pee my pants, by all means, bring it on.

Will you promote something for me?

Promote my blog - Although I’d love to promote everyone’s blog, in between feeding my children, changing diapers, cleaning house, doing laundry, and playing chauffeur, I don’t have the time to read them all and I can’t very well promote it if I haven’t even read it. Imagine the disappointment of my readers when they go to check out a blog promoted here, only to find a blog written entirely in Pig Latin, or a blog containing only pictures of socks, lots and lots of socks, or a blog that talks about how much they hate Seinfeld (the horror!)

Promote my product or website - I’ll be happy to check out your site and if it’s something I really like, I’ll get in touch with you about featuring the site on either BecauseISaidSoReviews or Mamaslike. If you're a WAHM and want to have your product or website reviewed, go to the Submit page at Mamaslike.com, take a look at the submission criteria, and then follow the submission steps. If you're a company (other than a work-at-home-mom) and want to have a product or website reviewed, then go here, to check out the submission criteria.

Promote my book - Because I get so many requests for this and because I don’t have the time to read everyone’s book, I regretfully, will not be hosting any book/blog tours.

Promote my auction - I wish you luck with your auction, but cannot promote it as I don’t get through all my mail every day and more often than not, the auction is over before I’ve even seen your request.

Will you give a birthday, anniversary, Yom Kippur, or Casimir Pulaski Day shout out to someone?
Sure. And it’ll only cost you $50.00 a word.

Will you help promote this charity, person who needs prayers, sick child, parents who are trying to adopt, etc.?There are many worthwhile causes out there to support. I’ve chosen to put a button on my blog that you can click to help fund mammograms, and a banner on my blog where you can donate to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.

Can I send you hate mail?
Yes, but please make sure you spell everything correctly. Capitalization, punctuation, and grammar are not optional.

Can I send you fan mail? Sure! I also accept chocolate, rum, professional cleaning services, and large cash donations. :)

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